I don’t know exactly when it started for me — and maybe you’ll relate — but somewhere along the line, I picked up this idea that I had to earn my worth.

Like I had to be extra nice, extra helpful, always available for anyone and everyone.
I thought if I kept doing more, giving more, explaining myself better… maybe I’d finally feel like I was enough.
Maybe people would like me more.
Maybe I’d stop feeling like a burden.

And honestly, I think a big part of it came from growing up feeling like I wasn’t chosen. Not for school things, not for friendships, not even at home.
I was that kid who didn’t feel important — like I had to try twice as hard just to be seen.

And when you start from there, it becomes so easy to fall into this belief that love, attention, and belonging are things you have to work for.

So I tried. I really did.

I made sure I didn’t upset anyone. I said yes even when I did not want to.
I over-apologised. I explained my choices to people who didn’t even care.
I shrank myself just to avoid being “too much.”

And the hardest part? I couldn’t even say how I felt.
If I ever tried to speak up, even politely, it was never accepted.
I was told I was rude, or “too sensitive,” or making a big deal out of nothing.

No one really stood up for me, so it was either stay quiet and swallow it… or speak and deal with being misunderstood.

Over time, silence felt safer.
Not because I didn’t have anything to say — but because saying it never seemed okay.

And that’s the part people don’t get.
Trying to be the “nice one” or the “easy one” sometimes just meant disappearing completely — even from myself.

And yet… it still didn’t feel like it was enough.

That’s the tricky part.

The more you try to prove you’re worthy, the more disconnected you feel from yourself.
You start thinking your value depends on how much you can do for others, how easy you are to deal with, how little space you take up.

It messes with you.

Even simple things — like resting, or saying “no” — feel wrong.
Like you need a permission slip just to be human.

I lived like that for way too long. And to be honest? It’s exhausting.

What I didn’t realise back then was… I never had to try so hard.
Because my worth — your worth — was never meant to be earned.

You’re not here to constantly prove yourself.
You’re not a project or a checklist.
You don’t need to fix yourself to be lovable.

Your worth was already there — before the people-pleasing, before the burnout, before the overthinking.
It’s not something that shows up only when you get it all right.
It’s been with you this whole time.

The people who truly care about you?
They don’t need you to perform.
They don’t need long explanations.
They don’t want the watered-down version of you.

They just want you.

I know it’s hard to believe, especially if you’ve spent years trying to be “good enough.”
But try to let it in — even just a little.

Let it feel weird. Let it feel awkward. That’s okay.

The next time you feel like you have to explain your “no,”
Or you catch yourself trying too hard to be liked…

Pause.

You don’t need to go down that road again.

You’re not here to earn your place. You already belong.

Say it to yourself, even if it feels silly:
“I’m enough. I don’t have to prove anything to be worthy of love or peace.”

And keep saying it — until it doesn’t feel strange anymore.
Until it feels like coming home.